Post #12: I Belong Inside You

Good morning, World!  Sorry about the lack of update last week, it was hella busy and there wasn’t enough coffee around to get the sarcasm going.  Rest assured, it’s cascading down like a bitter rivulet of smarm this morning.  Fuck you, firefox, smarm is a word.  Get that red squiggly shit out of here.

Some of you are already cocking your eyebrows at the title.  Please give me a moment to explain before suing me for sweet, sweet sexual harassment.  Remember a couple weeks ago when I mentioned that I had applied to get my visa renewed?  I hope so, or your reading comprehension is SHIT.  Anyway, I checked my email recently and realized that I got a notification from the Department of Immigration. My visa was approved…

…until March of 2013.

That’s right, Australia. I’m going to be doing the Didgeridoo Dance for another three years.  That’s the plan, at least, we’ll see what happens.  Now, for all my American readers, don’t be upset.  They told me that my new shiny student visa supports “multiple entry.”  Now, this either means that I’m legally allowed to participate in threesomes or that I’m allowed to leave the country and come back in.  I’m not sure, but I feel like I could argue either of those so we’ll keep our fingers crossed and say that I’ll be visiting back in the States soon.

Where would it be, indeed.  Please note, I didn’t come up with that picture and it’s not my rogue comma in there.  Sneaky little bastard.

In other news, it’s still fuckin’ hot here.  It’s over a hundred degrees Fahrenheit most days, and if it weren’t for air conditioning I’d probably take up panting as a hobby.

I’ve seen a lot of movies lately, so I think I’ll make a couple recommendations.  Now, my American readers probably saw these movies like a billion months ago since they came out there first. Just bear with me and nod your heads a lot.

“Paranormal Activity” : Pretty sweet low budget scary movie, I recommend it.  However, don’t go without somebody of the opposite sex.  Guys, great opportunity to have your girl gripping your arm.  Girls, grip away, it makes us feel manly

“Zombieland” : Epic.  That movie was hilarious, you’ll love it.  Americans, it WILL make you lust for a twinky.  Aussies, you don’t have twinkies and your life is an empty meaningless shell after seeing the movie.  Apparently good enough to see twice if the company is good

“A Christmas Carol” : Don’t see it if it’s not in 3D. ‘Nuff said.

Well that concludes this week’s post, sorry for the week of “vacation” I took.  Now, dear readers, I’ve done a dozen blog posts and have not asked in a long time what you want to read.  So, leave me a comment with some feedback and what you want me to write about next week.  I’ll have a full week to get plenty of fastidious info and type up something long and juicy.  As always, be safe!

Austin

P.S. : As an addendum, I have to tell all my gamer readers that Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is epic.  I’ve got it on the PC; Count Sean Carroll and I play that shit all the time.  Hit me up if you want in on the pewpew.

Post #11: What a Mystical Language

Good morning, world!  It’s Wednesday again! (in Australia, at least.  My American readers get the blog 15 hours early ) Today’s blog is going to be a little bit short, because I’m not sure what I can say that these youtube videos won’t say for me.

Christmas is a little different for Australians than it is for the rest of us.  If you haven’t read last week’s post, give it a look before continuing.  Some friends of mine linked me some youtube videos written by an interesting bogan fella.

Remember my post about bogans?  That delectably dreadful vomit-inducing page of horror?  Well, it’s back.  Consider this an extension.  If the language before was too much for you, close this window and go wash your hands.  Watching these youtube videos will actually prevent you from entering the gates of heaven.  No lie.

By the way, “Pram” is Australian for “baby stroller.”  Go figure.

Ugh, that accent is terrible.  What a mystical language.  Have a good week everyone, see you next Wednesday!  Be safe!

Austin